So I asked the missus to compile a list detailing the annoying habits I have that get on her nerves. I thought it would be a good idea and I was ok with her coming up with a couple then maybe I would work on trying to change them in order to become a better boyfriend, or something like that anyway. a couple of things that can be easily changed, a couple of little things that when changed wouldn’t impact my life much at all. So imagine my face when 15 annoying things later she WAS STILL NOT FINISHED something like this
So here is the er slightly abridged list of my “things” as written by Jessica Edge with my thoughts and reasonings on them.
These are all written in a very random order….
1) Ok so Chris is seriously addicted to McDonalds. It is VERY rare that a day goes by without him having his fix! And WOW does he get snappy if he doesn’t get it (dangerous stuff there chris)
it makes me feel good, I dont need it, I could give up at anytime. I dont think I'm addi...HEY THEY PUT IN AN EXTRA CHICKY NUG NUG IN HERE! NOM NOM NOM!!
2) We could be just walking along in the street, or at home and if ever the word “stop” is said he will finish the sentence with “its hammertime!” This has gone on far too long now.
I really cant be blamed for my impeccable music taste now can I? Besides anyone who was conscious in 1991 knows how infectious that song/phrase was and still is.
3) There are several things he may do in public. One of them is singing…very badly…very loud…very out of tune. This is usually followed by lots of staring by the general public.
Talent scouts are everywhere Jessica I could be "spotted" anyday something tells me you wont be complaining when we're rolling in the benjamins will you? didnt think so
4) Another public mishap is that he will suddenly TALK VERY LOUD. This is very random and unpredictable. Again this is followed by people staring.
Not my fault I couldnt hear as a kid and still cant hear very well, you wouldnt complain if I was in a wheelchair and I was leaving tiremarks all over the floor would you? actually YOU probably would as well as slashing my tires and pushing me off my wheelchair. EVIL COW!
5) Accompanied with the loud talking is his strange habit of saying the most inappropriate thing possible. Once again people end up staring…in shock.
Yeah that one is true and I have no excuse.
6) He is, without a doubt, the clumsiest person I have ever met! Unfortunately this seems to wear off onto me.
Especially when I touch you in any way, its because I'm so hot isn't it? ISN'T IT?
7) He is a great photographer but he likes to keep every single photo he takes, even if he gets you at the worst, most unflattering angle. He will never delete them :(
Who wants photos that are all staged?, and tbh Jess taking a photo of you is like torture anyway.
8) We could have something very important to do, but everything will go on hold till he has read his “stories”! this is all random crap on the internet, he is such an old lady.
I need to keep up with all the geek news, technology news, gossip, and design stuff. That is actually very important to me so if you dont like it FINISH ME.
9) A recent habit of his is just when we are cuddled up during the day or late at night, he will just tickle me until I am screaming. He doesn’t even care if I am just falling off to sleep.
When ya gotta tickle, ya gotta tickle.
10) For some odd reason he can’t burp, this should be a good thing but its really not. Instead of burping he will make a really loud noise that I can only describe as a screaming frog.
Now while thats true, it never used to be that way, I didn't always make that noise. As a kid my brother used to do it and I would always take the piss, so burp karma has caught up with me and now I do that strange noise. I do burp occasionally though, by accident.
11) He is sooo fussy with food. For example if someone else has opened the bread before him, he will not use it. Even if it has been only an hour or so, in his eyes it has “gone off”
See answer to number 5
12) Some days he will get a certain phrase, song line or word from something he has just watched and for the whole day he will repeat it, especially if we go into town.
Yet again see answer to number 5
13) When he talks passionately about something or you get into an argument with him, then expect to be showered. He is one of those people who accidentally spits. EWWWWW!
Suffering Succotash
14) We are a very affectionate and playful couple and of course we are very childish at times. This results in us getting into a lot of playfights which I don’t mind since I can be quite boisterous. But the one thing I can’t stand is him nipping me, it drives me insane! He is so girly.
WARNING this bitch bites! and nips apparently.
15) And finally the one that is funniest to me. I could be in the middle of doing my make-up just listening to some music, then out of nowhere chris will jump up behind me and start dancing. And every dance move is a literal version of all the words in the song. This will have me in fits of giggles unable to do my make-up
This is awesome fun I urge you all to try it. Take hints from the master...
Well that was the list, and while you may well be saying to yourself "what a horrible guy to be with" here's something to think about, Jess actually wrote something at the end of her list and it goes..."They are the most annoying habits in the world, but I wouldn’t want them to go. They make Chris, Chris and he is perfect to me……(perfectish anyway)"
So I cant be all bad.
Chris
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